ALMA: Why is bonding between parents and their child so crucial in the first months of life? And how can parents actively support this process?
Vivien: Bonding describes the early attachment between parents and their child, which is fostered through closeness, caresecurity. Familiar sounds and scents also play a significant role. This bond begins at birth but continues to develop, especially in the first few months. The first year of life is particularly crucial for a child's long-term ability to form relationships and build self-confidence.
Parents can actively promote bonding by providing their child with a sense of security, engaging in frequent physical contact and establishing familiar rituals that are consistently repeated. The more reliable and nurturing the environment, the stronger the child’s basic trust, which is essential for exploring the world with curiosity and confidence.
ALMA: Basic trust is a key concept in developmental psychology. During what time period is it formed and what factors contribute most to its development?
Vivien: Basic trust primarily develops during the first year of life. It is shaped by how parents respond to their child’s needs: How quickly and sensitively do they react to calls for attention? Do they respect their child’s need for closeness?
A child who develops strong basic trust tends to see the glass as half full, feeling safe and secure in the world. On the other hand, a lack of basic trust can lead to a more uncertain outlook, where the glass is seen as half empty. This foundational trust significantly impacts a child’s perspective on life and their ability to navigate new situations with flexibility.
Helping children recognize and express their own feelings, as well as understand how others feel, is crucial.
ALMA: Beyond basic trust, resilience is also an important factor in child development. What recommendations do you have for parents to strengthen their child’s emotional resilience?
Vivien: Resilience is the mental strength that helps us cope with life’s challenges. Parents can foster resilience in their children by modeling and encouraging empathy. Helping children recognize and express their own feelings, as well as understand how others feel, is crucial. This is known as "mentalization."
Another key principle is open and appreciative communication. Children need to feel that their experiences are acknowledged and taken seriously. Showing genuine interest, curiosity and appreciation for what they say and do strengthens their self-confidence.
It is also important to give children opportunities for self-determination. From an early age, children have a natural desire to contribute and feel like a valuable part of the family system. Allowing them to take on small responsibilities enhances their confidence and resilience.
ALMA: What other factors can support a child's resilience development?
Vivien: One essential aspect is strengthening what we call "competence islands." Every child has strengths and weaknesses and that is perfectly normal. The key is to recognize and nurture their individual talents, as resilience is built on experiences of success.
Additionally, parents often unconsciously replicate parenting patterns from their own childhood. Reflecting on and questioning these patterns can be very beneficial. In stressful situations, we tend to revert to familiar habits but we have the ability to break these cycles and establish healthier approaches.
Another crucial factor is accepting children as they are and setting aside unrealistic expectations. The goal is not to mold a child into a preconceived shape but to create a safe and supportive environment in which they can thrive.
Encouraging problem-solving skills is also vital. Children should be given the opportunity to tackle challenges independently while knowing their parents are there for support if needed. This balance between autonomy and security helps build self-confidence.
Finally, clear rules and guidance are important. Children benefit from participating in the creation of family rules and understanding the consequences of their actions. This fosters a sense of responsibility and inclusion, reinforcing their ability to navigate life with resilience.
